19/05/2008 - 5:39 p.m.

It's one of those days that I'd kill myself but it seems like too much effort.

Mrs C is all announcing they are trying to have another baby. Like at 22 you need to say boo - she'll be knocked up in 2 minutes. Thanks for reminding the rest of us we'll never get laid again.

Though I guess the fact I didn't get pregnant is probably a good thing. Thinking I wanted a baby was pure hormones coz we all know I would be a lousy parent. And in a marriage that is to all intents dead having a kid would be the last nail nit he coffin. all though I know not having a kid is the right thing it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. To hold a baby and know it will never be mine.

I hope this is just lack of sleep talking (I only got about 4 hours sleep last night and I have had 1 day off in the last 7 and don't get another day off till Thursday) or it will be hell being at my new store. Which has a large number of nannies and charges as customers.

Fuck it all
Bels