06/01/2009 - 3:17 p.m.

Being back in my own bed is good - being back in my own kitchen is even better!

While I could quite happily steal Mum's stove (ceramic cook top) and fridge the rest of her equipment sucks! She has cheap saucepans and not a single decent knife. In fact her best knife is a paring knife she has had since we were children! I am so spoilt with my good Global chef's knife and WMF saucepans. I have also decided I will never ever buy pans without glass lids ever again - they make cooking so much easier!

If the spouse and I do split I want custody of the chef's knife I use - he can have the other 5 knifes and the block but I want *my* knife (said in chef-fy professional cook tones!)

I was thinking as I was walking up the hill from the gym - too lazy to wait for the bus and the surgeon says walking/cycling are fine so long as they don't hurt. It occured to me that I really do not enjoy being made to feel bad by the spouse, I have kicked out many other people, including H, for treating me badly or just not being enjoyable to be around. (I am not as selfish, I do not expect people to entertain me or amuse me but if I spend most of the time I am around you feeling used, put upon, unhappy or anxious I really don't see that I need you in my life.)The spouse largely ignores me or dismisses me, this makes me feel bad whether or not that is his intention.

But until I have a job and the means of changing my living situation I am back at groundhog day, given this is exactly where I was a year ago. In fact moreso because I know at some point in the future I will be on crutches for 6 weeks and will need someone around to help me out.

On the job front I finally got an agency to call me back! I was being a bit dismissive because they then did a telephoner interview which to my mind didn't count as more than a call back. But then I suddenly went "hang on - that was a telephone *interview*" as in I made it to the first interview and am in weith a chance of a second interview - well in this case an assessment day then panel interview. So I feel a bit better. The job is on a rolling 24/7 roster where you will be working graveyards which is not ideal but I will give it a shot if I get through to the next stage. At the very least I am now on the books with one of the call centre agencies. If they don't call me back by the middle of tomorrow I will call a couple of teh other agencies and try and get on their books too.

I am not enamoured of going back into a call centtre but it seems to be wheere the hiring is happening. And I dread a call centre less than a help desk. Ideally I would like something that is a 6 to 12 month contract and not too spun out about my surgery, specially if I could get into a hotel or travel call centre as that would keep me on path for getting the experience I need to eventually teach.

Oh well wait and see what the universe sends my way!
Bels